CHALEAN EXTREME: Infomercial Review

In her never-ending quest to get me off the couch and start me on the path to losing weight, my wife handed me her computer the other day and asked me to watch an infomercial for CHALEAN EXTRME. I asked her what it was for, and she told me to do whatever it tells me to do.

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I was instantly excited by what the announcer said: He told me I could be a FAT burning machine. Well I'm already fat, so I'm halfway there! I got up off the couch, pulled out my cigarette lighter and lit some candles. I went to the couch and lit the burners on our gas stove. I put a log on the fireplace and lit it. Through all of this, my wife just watched.

When I finished with the fireplace, I started finding things to burn: newspaper, plastic bags, even toilet paper. Burning was my new hobby.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?" She screamed at me.

Your commercial told me I can be a FAT burning machine, so I got excited about it. Thanks to my lighter, and to the fact that I'm already fat, I'm going to be the best FAT burning machine you can find.

"You idiot!" she said, while hitting me on the head with a newspaper I hadn't burned yet. "Watch the rest of the commercial. Not a FAT burning machine, a fat-BURNING machine. It's an exercise program that burns the fat off you!"

Sure enough, it's this program that my wife says is intense and effective...combining cardio, nutrition and muscle training in one package. She loves it, but....well.....

Oh, well....that sounds like too much work.

I wonder if I can burn off the fat with my lighter?

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